What happens at a nikah: the order of events, step by step

A nikah is short. The ceremony itself takes fifteen to thirty minutes. The evening around it can take six hours, and that is what guests actually need to know about when they open the invitation. Here is what happens at a nikah, in order, and then a timeline you can copy onto the invitation's schedule.

Customs vary by family, country and school of thought. What follows is the common shape in British South Asian and Arab families; your imam and your elders have the final say on yours.

Before the day

The proposal and the family agreement. The families meet, the match is agreed and, in many families, a formal engagement or mangni marks it.

The mahr is agreed. The mahr is the gift the groom gives the bride, a condition of the contract. It can be money, gold, property or something else of value, and it is agreed between the families before the nikah. It is recorded in the contract and is the bride's own.

The imam and the venue are booked. The nikah can take place at a mosque, at home, in a hall or at the venue where the dinner follows. If you want the nikah recognised as a legal marriage in England and Wales, check that the mosque is registered for marriages or plan a separate civil ceremony; a nikah on its own is not a legally recognised marriage there.

The invitations go out, six to eight weeks ahead for a nikah with a walima; earlier if guests are travelling. Our guide to nikah invitation wording has the text.

The nikah ceremony

1. Guests arrive and are seated. In many families ladies and gents are seated separately, with the imam, the groom, the wali and the witnesses together at the front. The bride may be in the same room, in a separate room, or with the ladies.

2. The khutbah an-nikah. The imam opens with praise of Allah and a short sermon. He usually recites three verses: Al-Imran 3:102, An-Nisa 4:1 and Al-Ahzab 33:70 to 71, and speaks briefly on marriage, its rights and its duties.

3. The bride's consent. The bride's wali (her father, or the nearest male relative, or someone she has appointed) confirms that she consents. In many ceremonies the imam or two witnesses ask her directly, and her clear "yes" (qubool hai, "I accept", in Urdu-speaking families) is required.

4. The offer and acceptance. This is the contract. The wali, or the imam on his behalf, offers the bride in marriage to the groom with the agreed mahr, and the groom accepts, usually three times. In Arabic the offer is the ijab and the acceptance the qabul. Two adult Muslim witnesses hear it.

5. The mahr is stated, and often given or part-given on the spot.

6. The nikah-nama is signed. The marriage contract, naming the couple, the wali, the witnesses and the mahr. In the UK it is a religious document; a civil marriage certificate is separate.

7. The dua. The imam makes dua for the couple, usually with the words the Prophet ﷺ used: Barakallahu laka wa baraka alayka wa jama'a baynakuma fi khayr, "May Allah bless you, shower His blessings upon you, and join you together in goodness." The gathering says ameen.

8. Dates and sweets. Dates, sweets or mithai are passed round. In some families the groom's party is garlanded, in others a sugar-covered almond or a small gift goes to each guest.

That is the nikah. Fifteen to thirty minutes, sometimes less.

The evening around it

The entrances. If the nikah is at the dinner venue, the groom's party arrives and is received, then the bride enters, often after the contract is signed so that the couple sit together for the first time as husband and wife.

The couple together. In many families the couple are seated on a stage. There may be a mirror ceremony (aarsi mushaf), where the couple see each other in a mirror while a verse is read, readings or short speeches, and photographs with each family in turn.

Dinner. Served to the table or as a buffet, often in two sittings for a large gathering. Food is halal; tell guests when it is served and they will arrive on time.

The rukhsati, also bidai or vidai: the bride's departure with the groom's family. It is the emotional end of the evening on the bride's side, and it is often the last item on the schedule.

The walima. The marriage feast, hosted by the groom's family, the day after the nikah or within a few days, sometimes the same evening. It is a sunnah and it is the gathering the wider community is invited to. See walima invitation wording.

A timeline you can copy

For a nikah and dinner in one venue:

For a nikah at the mosque with dinner elsewhere:

Put the timeline on the invitation and most of the questions in the group chat answer themselves.

How long does a nikah take?

The contract itself: fifteen to thirty minutes. With the khutbah, the dua and the sweets, under an hour. The evening, with entrances, dinner and the rukhsati: four to six hours. Tell guests the arrival time and the time food is served, and let the ceremony sit between them.

What guests are asked to do

Little. Arrive on time, dress modestly and formally, sit where directed, say ameen to the dua, eat well and make dua for the couple. Gifts are usually "your presence is the gift", and the one thing every family asks for is the same: we kindly request your duas.

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On RSVP Websites, the nikah invitation comes with this order of events already on the schedule, from guest arrival to the rukhsati. Edit the times, add the walima, and send one link; guests see the timeline, the venue with a map and the reply form on the same page.